Who the heck do I think I am?

etakyma got a Wii with her bonus from work, and got the Fit Plus as well. And yesterday being a holiday we broke it all out and tried it.

Well, that was after I slipped on my stairs coming out of my house. The back steps are concrete and they were much slicker than I anticipated. I put one foot down and the next thing I knew, I was lying at a 45-degree angle on the steps. I hit my butt, tailbone, and upper back, the back of my hand (on the railing, I think), my elbows, and I scraped the back of my left leg. But hey, nothing broken. Didn't crack my head. My phone was in my front pocket, and my netbook was in my shoulder bag, which just sort of fell to the side.

Oy.

It didn't really affect my ability to Wii, however. We played Batman Lego, which was hilarious because neither of us have any clue what we're supposed to be doing or how to do it. We both had our moments of fabulous remote control and our moments of epic Fail. We kept having to refer to an online walkthrough just to figure out how to proceed through the levels - though to be fair, we got through the second one almost without much hinting. The third level was funny as all get-out, because we were told ahead of time (by our helpful guide): "Just shoot EVERYTHING." Stupid, but fun. The animations are cuteness personified, especially Robin's inappropriate humour. (Though we also helped supply dialogue: "Holy Popsicle, Batman!")

After supper we pulled out the balance board and played some of the Fit games. Some of these are easier than others. (The scale's ability to calculate BMI and Wii Age, btw, is made of fail.) I think I will wish that I had access to the Wii much more often than I will have for the next couple of months with rehearsals being what they are. (Then again, if I am home again I WILL do yoga and walk more - I SWEAR.) There is a lot to be said for the psychological component of a "Game" in which one's goal is to improve at the performance of physical activities. I really liked "Rhythm Kung Fu" and apart from one or two moves did really well the second time, but for some reason had trouble with "Basic Step" - don't ask, I don't even know why I couldn't seem to get the timing right. We also tried some Wii Resort games ("Fencing" is too damn easy and Sky-Diving is just fucking weird). It is very fun and a totally easy way to fritter away hours - but much healthier than Spider Solitaire.

And now, after an entire day of OMG CRISIS!! at work, it is time to go home. Back into the storm. Literally. Joy.

Okay, I am a genius. I'm sure this has also been done before, but shut up. I'm SMRT.

So, for reasons that probably don't need to be explained (or, well, better not have to be because I really can't right now), I was thinking last night about how much one could condense and compress the core story of Harry Potter - and specifically, could one get it down to a drabble?

Well, I couldn't quite manage 100 words, but I think I did a pretty good job with 200. It could be tweaked, I'm sure.

Mind you, this is pretty bare-bones - no subplots, no explanations, no characters unless they're absolutely integral. Okay, one or two things because I had room. (The really bare-bones version is 150 words!) But here, for your amusement, is my open beta double-drabble on Harry Potter:


Harry Potter lived in a cupboard until age 11. He learns he’s a wizard whose parents were murdered by Voldemort, who is not quite dead. Voldemort tries to reincorporate during Harry’s first year at wizarding school, but fails because he can’t touch Harry. In year two, Harry also destroys a diary containing a past echo of Voldemort. In his third year, Harry learns that his godfather Sirius was framed and the man responsible, Peter Pettigrew, has been hiding ever since. Harry helps Sirius, but Pettigrew also escapes and helps Voldemort return. This breaks the enchantment protecting Harry from Voldemort’s touch. Harry realizes he can see Voldemort’s thoughts, but Voldemort tricks him into thinking Sirius is in danger. Harry tries to rescue Sirius but Sirius falls through a curtain and dies. Harry then learns from Dumbledore that Voldemort separated fragments of his soul into Horcruxes, like the diary. Dumbledore assigns Harry the task of finding and destroying the others. He does. Meanwhile, Voldemort searches for a magic wand that will make him invincible. Neville kills a snake, Voldemort kills Harry, which busticates the Harry-horcrux, but Harry comes back and wins because Voldemort grabbed the wrong wand. The End. Epilogue? What Epilogue?


Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters!

Comment with your own versions! HP in 200 words or less!

A. O. SCOTT's latest review of "Wild Hogs" had me cracking up the other day. Perhaps because it reads like so many of our journal entries?

Here's the link for those who are registered at NY Times

( Text of Wild Hogs Review behind the cut )