Who the heck do I think I am?

Am I the only person bored enough to be watching GoF on ABC Family?

Am I the only person who had never seen the OMG - SO MUCH BETTER! - "deleted" scene between Karkaroff and Snape? In the yard? Where Rickman pulls the snogging kids out of the carriage?

JEEBUS. WHY WASN'T THAT IN THE ORIGINAL CUT??!!!!

Herein are the little flopsies (and one drabble) I wrote for my Fic-or-Treat presents. These are all basically flash fiction - unbeta'd, barely proofread, and I didn't even attempt to make them drabble-length because that's just too much work. Except for the R/S drabble, because that just kind of happened and didn't require hardly any effort to make it a drabble.

However, at the end of this post are also three drabbles I wrote using ficwriter1966's first lines from her First Lines meme/challenge.

( For Teffy, a Remus/Sirius Flopsy )


( For aoibhe, another R/S Flopsy )


( For doomette, a Remus/Sirius drabble )



( For heartfelt_angel, a bit of silly meta )



( For elethoniel, a Teen!Chesters Flopsy )



( For afrocurl, a SPN S3 Flopsy )



( For wendy, another Teen!Chesters Flopsy )



( For starxd_sparrow, a Dean Flopsy with a shout-out to the City of Bridges )



( For Sea0tter12, a John Flopsy )


This last one incorporates a joke I've had in mind for a long time, but I don't know if I'll ever actually write the fic about it. I talked about it in the comments to one of my Monday Metas over at wee_chesters here.


And then here are the ( three drabbles: )

:collapses

A couple articles for you:

http://thephoenix.com/Article.aspx?id=43962&page=1

I'm in this one, starting on page 3. With picture!

http://www.networkworld.com/news/2007/071807-hogwarts-it-director.html?page=1

This one's from chrystie99 - it's her company's maagazine. grouchyoldcoot, you'll be amused by that one!

Off to actually do some work...ah, who'm I kidding, I'm catching up on LJ. But I'm working too!

I've been meaning to post for a while, but I'm recovering from a home invasion (my father was visiting, stealing my internet access, breakin' my stuff), and I've been plagued with leaving my flash drive at work, so I hadn't had time yet.

So. Here's a very brief State of Da Gwen.

My father was here this week, for three short, very long days. In that time, he messed up my internet (working again), broke my sewing machine, sharpened my knives (no I'm not kidding!), put gas in my car (after driving it), washed my dishes, asked me a lot of inane questions, bought dinner for me and etakyma, made more noise about wanting me to give him my iPod shuffle if/when I get a video iPod (which is like, six months from now, maybe?), and generally annoyed the crap out of me. But at least no shouting match this time, so that's good. The detox must have worked.

Seriously, it says something that Thursday, "Houses of the Holy" was coming on, and even though it's my least favourite episode of Supernatural, I tried turning it on in my bedroom just to get some peace and quiet, and even then, he kept wanting to talk at me.

We watched a Netflick - "Firewall" - which was basically good summer popcorn thriller. Nothing you really had to pay any attention to. And he's constantly asking questions, making guesses about what's going to happen... JUST WATCH THE FRIGGIN MOVIE, DAD. I know, you don't normally watch TV. But still. You didn't hear what Harrison Ford muttered? Guess what, neither did I. But there's a rule in movies: even if you don't catch it the first time, they *will* make everything painfully clear within 30 minutes. Really. Best dumb question of the film: "Do you know what Stockholm Syndrome is?"

Why yes, Dad. However, I'm not going to tell you that it's one of my major kinks. Thanks.

Watching Top Chef: "Do you ever try to make the food they make on this show?"

No, Dad. And a month ago when you were here and you asked me that? Still no.

ANYway. The most annoying man on earth has departed back to Baltimore. /rant Anabel is not doing well in the assisted living space and he and Allan may need to move her to a nursing home. Well, she is 89. Then he's off to the Camp Perry Rifle Competition to volunteer as a... I think he's a line chief this year, then the Stone Tool show in Letchworth, and then he doesn't know where, but west again.

Job: going well. Starting to get involved in more. Unfortunately this leaves less time for fic - writing and reading, but that's okay. I guess. Nevertheless, I did just get "Guns and Ammo" posted, in time to honour eloise_bright's birthday:

Read the fic at my wee_chesters journal!


Order of the Phoenix movie: We're going to the midnight show tonight, IMAX. Hey, since I interviewed the president of IMAX, I probably should go *see* the thing, right? I know, I know, lots of you are saying it's the best yet. Frankly...not a great track record, so far, but I am sort of looking forward to parts. Other parts.... Well, let's just remember that the *real* fifth book is still to be written. Heh.

And of course: Deathly Hallows. Plans coming together. moony has a room in Cambridge for the night, for a reasonable rate, so I'll probably crash there instead of trying to get out of Harvard Square after the buses have stopped running. May be able to park there, even, which is good, because I'll have swag to hand out for Portus, and I haven't decided to robe or not. Weather may play a significant factor on that score. I'm just so relieved it's almost over.

Speaking of which, if you're in Boston, pick up the July 19 "Phoenix." I'm being covered along with a few others as fanfiction authors and HP fans. They just sent a photographer, he left a little while ago, to take some quasi-cheesy shots of me in my flat. My really messy desk, and the shelf of books that I actually cleaned last night in anticipation. I kept things from getting too crazy, but told him we could do "cute". So look for that.

And now, I'm off to join etakyma to continue prep-work for Prophecy. OMG - Prophecy and Pennsic are less than a month away. Yikes!

Or else I'm gonna have to write it myself.

I'm looking for Fred&George Weasley fic, preferably focusing on their early time at Hogwarts, featuring interaction with Snape in Potions. I am specifically looking for something that treats the subject of their interaction with him...seriously, if you know what I mean. Not something that some 13-year-old wrote while hyped out on sugar and caffeine. And preferably *not* actually teh smut, or even shippy.

There are a fair few fics about how they came to possess the Marauders' Map, but I'm looking for something more general than that.

Any ideas, oh, flist?

So Bert, liamstliam, etakyma, and I went to the sneak preview of GoF tonight. We wound up getting dinner at Chili's, which was fine, except slow. Amy and I threw cash down and went ahead while the boys graciously stayed to settle the bill, and we walked into the theatre just in time for me to answer a trivia question and win a box set of the first 5 books in paperback. Sweet! Will probably donate to HPEF either as auction or library item.

When I went up to the radio guy to collect my doorprize, I announced that I had magnets and bookmarks. I was flooded by small children. Gave away all the magnets and many, many FA business cards and a few Lumos bookmarks. Heh. It was good work for about five minutes.

Bert and Bill arrived and we settled in. I'll tell you the absolute worst thing about the film, no spoiler required: The Audio and Visual got out of synch right around the time they pull the names out of the goblet. For some unknown reason, the video apparently skipped a chapter. So we were getting the sound of Dumbledore pulling the names from the goblet, but the visual of Harry walking into the room with the other three champions and the professors all having conniptions. The guy in the booth fiddled with it, couldn't get it fixed, and eventually got the audio to skip forward, so that we got back on track during Harry and Ron's spat. But they never rolled it back to pick up the scenes the right way. Bummer.

I definitely want to see this again, though I can wait for DVD if necesary. I warned the guys that I would be on extreme sides of the dial all night: either LOVING or HATING, no real in-between. I apologize again, gents, for being a fangirl during the movie.

Okay, on with the skinny. This is going to be jumbled and a bit cranky, so reader beware.
( Now for the Real Good, Bad, and Ugly )

I'm sure I have a ton of other complaints, some more minor than others, just as I'm sure I have a bunch more squees to issue. Nargh. It was like for every thing they did very well, they made just weird-ass choices for so much else. That's always how it is, I know, but then, I knew it would be mixed. On the whole, I think I liked this more than PoA, though. At least I'm looking forward to seeing it again, which I really didn't feel about the others so much.

I have a new theory, though, based on four movies now. If you want to know what's important, pay attention to the films. No, really. If the information didn't make it into the Cliff's Notes version, if it wasn't a vital plot point, then it probably ultimately doesn't matter to the overall arc.

Well. I'm really glad I didn't have to pay for it, anyway.

Wah, Peter Jennings!

Truly a loss for television journalism.


Okay, thanks to both of you who gave me feedback about the whole AU question. But of course, just as I was bravely going to go ahead and post, I was bitten by a drabble bunny for a canonical Snape story. (See, my brain's been working overtime to figure this whole thing out, and that's what I get for it.)

Here's a taste:

( Snapeshots I )

( Snapeshots II )

( Snapeshots III )


I'm up to about 13 or 14 at home. And yes, these are all either drabbles or double-drabbles. I'm going to see how far I can get with this style. Anyone have suggestions for drabble communities where I can post this? String enough of them together and I can even put it on FictionAlley.

About three weeks ago I mentioned pouring out some reactionary fic about Remus at the end of OotP.

Well, I've re-read it and it's come back from one of my two editors and it apparently doesn't suck, so I'm posting it in order to get it out there before Friday's event.

I originally called this "Stone Soup," which I thought was a crap title, and a trifle too obscure.

Title:The Fall that Kills You
Rating: PG-13, possibly even PG
Summary: Two perspectives: Remus's reaction in the cleanup of events at the Ministry, and Snape's unusual discovery a couple days later.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Notes: I feel fairly certain that these guys are more mine than JKR's at this point, anyway. The fissure between the books and my private universe grows ever wider....
Archive: Drop me a line first, but be my guest.
Wordcount: 3220

( The Fall that Kills You Part One: A Tattered Veil )

~*~*~*~

( The Fall that Kills You Part Two: An Unorthodox Bedtime Story )

Fin.

Hi, all.

Well, a number of people asked me about the four house filks I wrote in honour of Nimbus - 2003. I am an unrepentant elitist filk snob, so I hold true to my conviction that I will not enter these in any filk competitions or submit them to any filk site, nor will I post them to discussion lists or such.

However, so many people asked about them that I've bent my position on posting them *anywhere*. I'm posting them here.

If any of you want the tunes to these (since most of you only heard two, and because two are original tunes and two are SCA filks), all you have to do is mail me a blank cassette tape with a self-addressed, postage-paid return envelope, and I'll be happy to record them for you.

So, without further ado: the filks.

A Hufflepuff Song:

Hufflepuff
Has a lot that’s tough.
They think we’re all duffers,
They say we’re all dumb.
But hard work and kindness
Don’t hurt anyone
So we’re Hufflepuff,
And that’s quite enough.

Hufflepuff
Made of strong, stern stuff,
We value persistence,
We stand by our own.
Our egos don’t easily
Get overgrown,
Cause we’re Hufflepuff
And we’re tough enough.

We’re Hufflepuff
Go ahead and scoff
You don’t even see us,
You don’t realise
Tis honey, not vinegar
That catches flies,
And we’re Hufflepuff,
And we’re sweet enough.

Hufflepuff
Is no place to slough
We’re not here for glory,
We don’t need to shine.
We do our jobs proudly
And think that that’s fine
For in Hufflepuff
We work hard enough.

We’re Hufflepuff,
And we could be gruff,
But loyalty works--
And you might be surprised
By how much we accomplish
With patience, not pride,
For in Hufflepuff
Modesty’s enough.

Hufflepuff
Does not think it rough
To work in the background,
To help from below,
To sow seeds with favours,
To reap what we grow,
Cause we’re Hufflepuff,
And we’re shrewd enough.

We’re Hufflepuff,
And we’ve had enough!
You ask what’s the point in
A house of our kind?
Well, we run the world
From beneath, and behind,
Cause we’re Hufflepuff!
And we’ve got the stuff!


A Ravenclaw Song:

Oh, Muggles think that the owl is wise
For he flies both swift and true,
But wiser still is the raven bold
For there’s nothing she can’t do.

A peaceful bird is the turtle dove:
For hope and love she stands,
But the raven has true peace of mind,
For she serves no master’s plans.

The raven black with claws of coal;
The eagle bronze and bright:
Wisdom, wit and truth the goal;
Knowledge gives us flight.

A bird of prey like the kestrel
Picks off the weak and slow.
But patiently the raven waits
And her meals appear below.

The robin preens his feathers bright
And sings a song for all.
But ravens spare their voices
And none ignore their call.

The raven black with claws of steel;
The eagle swift and free:
Wisdom, wit and truth our weal,
Knowledge is our key.

The heron stands long hours in mud
And the stork he scans the foam,
But ravens feast on land or sea
And make any place their home.

The goose may be contented
To be fatted for the kill,
But ravens ever shall be free
To serve where’er they will.

The raven black with claws of pitch;
The eagle wizard-wise,
Owes fealty only to the witch
Who saw in us her prize.

The cuckoo preys on the innocent
And to echo is the parrot’s fate,
But ravens are the gods of birds
And they perch on Odin’s gate.

And for raven intellect
And for eagles sharp of mind,
Rowena, warrior, witch, and friend
Made a house for ravenkind.

The raven black with claws like knives,
The eagle brown of wing;
Wit and wisdom all our lives:
Truth is everything.

Now some might think that Ravenclaw
Has no trait to recommend,
But ravens know our wit’s a wealth
That serves us ‘til the end.

For ravens are both brave and keen
And not easily seduced:
Thus reason solves more ills than brawn -
And ravens rule the roost!

The raven black with claws of coal,
The eagle fierce and proud:
Wisdom, wit, and truth the goal
That lifts us from the crowd.


A Gryffindor Song:
(to the tune "The Peasant Knight" by Mistress Rosalind Jehan of Paradox Keep)

A young boy born to a lady and lord
Of noble birth and high,
But no drop of wizard blood between the two,
Still finds his place in a magic world
Where dragons fill the sky,
And he learns the truth behind all he can do.

“Oh I have the heart of a warrior
And although I’m Muggle-born
The Sorting Hat this day I’ve worn,
And it saw my might,
And thus it hight me Gryffindor.”

A girl no older than eight years
Sees dreams of futures told
And her mother knows she’ll be a witch like her.
She’s strong of heart and true of mind,
Both virtuous and bold,
And she learns with delight of the school awaiting her.

“Oh, I have the heart of a warrior.
And although I am half-born,
The Sorting Hat this day I’ve worn,
And it saw my might,
And thus it hight me Gryffindor.”

A wizard born of wizard kin,
Grows up with spells and brooms.
In his veins the blood of generations flows.
And every night his father
Helps his gifts of magic bloom,
As he waves his wand, his innermost soul knows

That he has the heart of a warrior
And because he’s wizard-born,
The Sorting Hat one coming morn
Will see his might
And it will hight him Gryffindor.

The boy arrived on an autumn eve,
With a short sword at his side,
Knowing not what challenge he would face that day,
But courage burned within his breast
And his fears of magic died
When he saw that castle looming leagues away.

“Oh I have the heart of a warrior.
And although I’m Muggle-born
The Sorting Hat this day I’ve worn
And it saw my might,
And thus it hight me Gryffindor.”

Her eyes as bright as firebrands,
The girl arrived one fall,
Leaving far behind the fate of peasant wife.
And always she’d remember
How that test determined all,
Gave her expectations for her newfound life.

“Oh, I have the heart of a warrior.
And although I am half-born
The Sorting Hat this night I’ve worn
And it saw my might,
And thus it hight me Gryffindor.”

“House of honour, House of strength,
House of Godric’s pride,
Be with me this day; and let me do you grace.
My parents met here in their time,
When here they did abide,
And in Gryffindor I pray I’ll take my place.

For I have the heart of a warrior,
And because I’m wizard-born,
The Sorting Hat this day I’ve worn,
And it saw my might,
And thus it hight me Gryffindor.”

Witch or wizard, serf or king,
‘Tis magic that we share
Neither skill of hand nor strength of arm can serve.
For bravery and honour bright,
No other can compare,
In our ranks are wizards famed for strength of nerve.

For they all have the heart of a warrior,
And no matter how they’re born
The Sorting Hat one day they’d worn,
And it saw their might,
And thus it hight them Gryffindor.

May you have the heart of a warrior,
And no matter how you’re born,
In this house we all are sworn
To strive for right
And serve the might of Gryffindor,
Yes no matter how you’re born
In dark of night or light of morn,
Be bold and bright,
And do what’s right for Gryffindor.


A Slytherin Song:
(to the tune "Worms of the Earth" by Sir Volodomir Kambionets, OL (Bob Esty))

(Well) We are the worms of the earth,
Against the lions of pride
All of our days we are told that our ways
Are too cunning, but we’re justified.
Those Gryffindors think they’re so noble and kind
But we find them naïve and plain wrong.
They’ve beat us before,
But we’ll win in the end,
And you’ll see we were right all along.

My father’s blood it was pure,
As was his father’s before him.
Of Salazar’s lineage we’re sure,
With such prowess they couldn’t ignore him.
So I learned thirty hexes before I was ten,
At Hogwarts the Sorting Hat knew me, for when
It was placed on my brow it spoke the name, and then
And in Slytherin house I found home. Where (Chorus)

As a student, of course, I excelled,
Be it Transfiguration or charms.
I learned every potion and spell,
Winning points for my house with no qualms.
And so what if my methods seem cut-throat or sly?
Just get out of my way if you’re not on my side,
Or else get a strong dose of Slytherin pride,
And you’ll learn what crossing me means. For (Chorus)

It’s not that we’re naturally mean:
We’ve respect for the hardworking type,
Or minds that are brilliant and keen,
And whose houses don’t grumble or gripe.
But just let us Slytherins win the House Cup
Or Inter-house Quidditch — it’s not all that tough,
And they stand up against us and shout “That’s enough!”
And those Gryffindors cry, “It’s not fair!” (No chorus)

But what they don’t know that we do,
Is that life never is about fairness,
The brave and the cunning are few,
But many the foolish and careless.
So you Gryffs who report we all cheat — it’s not true,
You just don’t like to think that we’re better than you,
And we know one day soon we shall all get our due,
And we’ll see who’s ahead of the game.

For we are the worms of the earth,
Against those lions of pride,
All of our days we are told that our ways
Are too cunning, but we’re justified.
Those Gryffindors think they’re so noble and kind,
But we find them naïve and plain wrong.
They’ve beat us before,
But we’ll just come back stronger,
And you’ll see we were right all along.


There you go. Enjoy!