Who the heck do I think I am?

I'm watching Tim Gunn lose it on Project Runway ("animal wooly balls" vs "real balls" - yeah, if you don't know what I'm talking about you're probably better off).

I have dried out the sleeping bags, but the tent probably needs to at least be set out on the other side, probably better to actually set it up (oy). And I need water seal for the seams.

So the quick ( Pennsic Update )

I went to the grocery store today for milk (yay!) and more cheese (my open cheese got moldy while I was away) and will do a "real" full grocery shop tomorrow or over the weekend when the new flyer prices go into effect. (Need soda, yogurt, dinners.... but have a coupon!) I also got QUARTERS so I can do my laundry! I did a load of whites (with bleach) but needed more change to continue.

Have decided not to pursue Aflac. I've contacted them a total of 3 times now on separate occasions and apparently they can't be arsed to get back to me. Screw'em. The guy at the bank suggested I apply there. Hm.

I also need to go to Macy's to see about the perfume spritzer (yes, the saga continues!). Short version of story: It definitely leaked while at war, the temperatures were hot enough to sort of "bake" the ester and I have visible proof that the bottle leaks. A little pointed questioning of Joel resulted in his not only remembering that he bought it at Macy's, not Sephora as previously believed, *but* that his receipt was still in the bag in his bedroom. From 2 1/2 years ago!!!! Frightening, but not a bad thing in this case. So I am armed with the receipt now, too!

I must re-motivate to start looking for work again. I can't seem to get up the energy. I've been sleeping a lot.

And I must clean. Oy. Really, really need to clean. I currently fear that I accidentally returned the unused high-capacity black toner cartridge instead of a used one. Sigh.


I'm caught up on Project Runway, and I'm ready for tonight's new episode. I watched last week's Burn Notice but I think I missed one in there. But USA shows it all the time. I also watched last night's new The Choir but BBC America does not, apparently, repeat the old episodes as much as I would like, so I missed one there, too.

Way behind on White Collar and others. Meh.

I did get an order from Amazon that I ordered with gift certificates: A Little Princess (the good, BBC / Wonderworks TV version); Chronicles of Narnia (ditto, the BBC / Wonderworks one), Snoopy (replacing the CD stolen from my car about 4 years ago), Season 2 of The Closer, and The Addams Family - the musical. Turns out etakyma bought the same soundtrack! Wish I'd known, but oh well.

But I am also loving Top Gear on BBC America. OMG, these boys are SOOO funny. And they are boys. They constantly play tricks on each other. It's like if Moony, Padfoot and Prongs grew up and had a car review show. Seriously. (Jeremy is Moony, Hammond is Pads and James May is Prongs, of course.)

And Alternity? Man, it's awesome. I love that even when there are issues behind the scenes, we work them through and we're committed to helping each other remove roadblocks and at least trying to keep it fun for everyone. We don't always succeed - because let's face it some characters just are harder to play in Alternity than others - but we sure as hell try. Meanwhile, I think the measures we take do improve the game, not just for those characters but for everyone, and offer new dimensions for the readers, too.

So y'all should read it. Really.

Oh, and I found out that somehow I missed the email about the October cabaret thing that Wellesley's doing - but I got to the organizers in time. And I even talked them into a solo! So that'll be cool and rehearsals start at the end of the month. I'm sure there are other auditions to look out for, too. Back to the grind.

And back to job search. Bleah. But there's simply no alternative. I have to get a job.

So, last week there was this water main bustification in Boston, and we were on a "boil water" order for a while. They lifted it the morning I left for Rochester (so I got to wash my dishes before hitting the road), but my dentist appointment had already been postponed.

I hit the road, spent a couple days with Mom, went down to Pittsburgh for Crown, and came back home (via Rochester again) yesterday.

The highlights:
- Haircut! (quite a few compliments at Crown, too)
- New Headshots! This is good because I had an audition last night (grump: no callback) and one tomorrow, and I'll need 45 of the suckers for the June auditions
- Watched "Harper's Island" with Mom
- Acquired a bag of old garb, some of which can still be used, most of which either needs modification (ahem, I'm fat) or will just be part of the costume closet for theatrical use
- Continually squicked / worried about Mom and the way she lives. Not sure I can do anything to improve her situation.
- Left "The Last Detective" with her (she was finishing them up when I got there on Monday), which she enjoyed / devoured.
- Crown was COLD, RAINY, MUDDY - in other words, an AE Crown. Good practice for War Practice (note to self, remember arm-warmers and cold weather gear)
- I have a new misspelling of my name on the magnet! It's always hilarious when they get his name right (the complicated one) and mine wrong (the easy one)
- Watched Game 5 with the family
- Puked a LOT on Saturday night (yuck!)
- Went to dinner with erink and her partner, and also went to see Iron Man 2 with them. Did not get to play with the iPad because grouchyoldcoot bogarted it.
- Took Mom out for dinner for Mother's Day. Then she topped off my gas tank (which didn't quite even it up, but I'm not complaining)

Came back to Boston, got ready for the audition. Dutifully left in time to find the place, only to wait until after my appointment time with no one around. Phone dead! Went home, turned on computer. Immediately noted that I was IN THE WRONG PLACE - but the right place was only 5 blocks away. Jumped back in the car - tearing my pantyhose - and screamed over there. No problem. Only had about a 10 minute wait (enough time to shuck the torn hose!), but really didn't do well on my songs - especially the second one. The first one was okay, but I was tired from the long drive and I guess my voice wasn't sitting right. I could not get my heart rate or breathing back after the first song, so the emotional shift for the second was off. No callback. Not surprised, but MEH.

Cloudy and cold today. Also cramps, yuck. And NOTHING on the job front. Dentist appointment. Gum recession - yay. Don't need to do anything yet, but will.

ARGH.

And the Penguins are losing. What the fuck, boys?

Can there be Alternity? If I have to be wearing my crankypants, I'd like to at least be able to escape to where my characters are having a crappy time for much more life-threatening reasons.

It should have been one more day, but Human Resources offered to extend me one more week (to shift things like COBRA into next year), and because he's determined to suck every ounce out of me, Boss D expects me to be in the office during that time. Although, to be fair, I clarified with him later and he backed off on that - "Oh, no. I fully expect you to do what you need to do for you, but if there are things that you can continue to push forward, that would be really helpful. And I don't want anyone getting the idea that you should be burning vacation for that week." Which, the last part? Is BS - because no one would blink.

But whatever. Basically I have to pop in and out for the week - I figure no more than 3 hours or so a day, unless there's something specific I need to be around for. But Friday will definitely only be a couple hours, and then immediately off to Rochester before Masked Ball.

Meanwhile, here it is Thanksgiving. ( My holiday )

Anyway - everyone else is listing their thanks and so, lemming-like:

I'm thankful for my friends, the family I have chosen for myself.

I'm thankful for the online communities, fandoms and friends, who are there for each other even when we're hundreds of miles apart.

I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had over the last ten years, to travel (not as extensively as I'd like, but y'know - California, Texas, and New Mexico were all new within the last two years), to get to go to VIP nights and special events in the HP world, and occasionally get treated like a sort of important person too.

I'm thankful that HPEF has done so well (comparatively) in its 7 years so far and I'm thankful that there are folks running Infinitus so I don't have to.

I'm thankful that I can actually call myself a professional writer, something my teachers alway said I'd be. Published author and professional actor have always been two of my goals - although again, not necessarily "grand scale" but nonetheless, something.

I'm thankful that I have learned to live within my means. I don't deny myself little luxuries from time to time, but I try not to over-extend myself. That means that with this layoff looming, I've got some savings laid by. Not a lot, but enough to make it to the next step.

I'm thankful for the things I've learned in all my jobs - both the good and the bad. I've had great examples of management and motivation and I've seen where leaders go astray. I'm thankful for recognizing the things that push my buttons and knowing when it's time to detox from a poisonous situation.

I'm thankful for Alternity. It sounds silly, but I was really worried at first that getting into the game would take over my life. And it sorta has, but not to the exclusion of all else (I hope), and in the meantime it's given me some creative outlet when not much else in my life was feeling creative. Plus it's hella fun.

I'm thankful for cozy socks and fuzzy blankets and movies and pyjamas and hot tea.

Car is hanging on (although the frame around the license plate broke off last night and I had to remove it), very, very tentative when it first gets into gear and then once it eases up into 5th it's fine, but yeesh, it's nerve-wracking.

I'm still not reading more than half my flist because yeah, I'm still WAY behind and no, I haven't seen last night's or even downloaded it yet, and yes, I heard about the 14th episode (thanks, Heidi).

As if I didn't spend enough time on it, I added a third character in hpalternity, but it's too fun not to do - and in some ways more fun because the character has more opportunity to interact with others (and it's fun to be 11). However, it's also time to really start spending more time on Azkatraz because it's going to be SO COOL. The wizard fashion show entries are in and will need some vetting, which I hope we'll do in the next week; we're putting together our vetting committees for programming (if you're interested, please let me know!) and getting ready for the Early Decision programming submissions; and we're pulling together contracts for two special venues that y'all are gonna love, as well as contacting guests and working on Wrock the Rock and the Prison Break Ball.

OH - and very important: Don't forget that we're holding a book fair in a couple weeks to celebrate the release of Tales of Beedle the Bard - your purchase at a Barnes and Noble, along with any other holiday shopping you might do there, will help HPEF and needy children. The vouchers are good NATIONWIDE at any Barnes and Noble and INCLUDE cafe purchases, so your coffee or coffee cake will also raise money! Watch the azkatraz community and the website for more information. The book comes out in only 2 weeks!


(Oh, yeah, so I didn't get cast, obviously - and the girl I thought she was going to cast was in fact the one she cast. Man, directors. They're so transparent.)


The show opened last night and there were only a few slight wobbles and slip-ups on my part - a couple early calls, a couple late ones - but nothing too obvious apart from one cue that I called and Frank didn't GO, so we were behind by a cue (and then late because I didn't realize we were behind until a really obvious light change didn't happen, but it's quick and followed by a complicated series of calls. Oops). Still. Kill me if I ever stage manage again, okay?

Oh, and one interesting thing. Earlier in the week when I was running the cue-to-cue, things were getting a little crazy and in particular, it seemed like every time I thought we had everyone together and could start something, someone wandered away or wasn't where they were supposed to be. And I was getting frustrated. At one point I turned to Frank and said, "Let me ask you something: When I speak, when the words come out of my mouth, are you hearing them? Are they English? Or am I just shouting into the wind?" - but, y'know, humourously, as a way of blowing off some attitude so that I *didn't* yell at people. At the end of rehearsal, after Celia's notes, I made folks again aware that the PA system doesn't work and so we have no way of running around to every nook and cranny of the theatre to make calls. It'll be easier when we're running (I said), but I reiterated that a. people can't go wandering off without letting someone know where they're gonna be; b. when I'm calling the show, especially if we're standing by for a cue, you CANNOT SPEAK into the headsets. No questions, no "Oh, Shit" and especially no, "Gwen, can you hear me?" because then I'm dealing with you and not CALLING THE CUE like I'm supposed to. And I think I said something about being on time, checking your props, etc., and I concluded by saying that if such-and-so doesn't happen and they're not good children, "I'm gonna get pissed. And you don't want me pissed." Because y'know? I'm a bitch, but I don't want to get angry with my friends, so don't give me cause.

Well. A few minutes later, the de-facto ASM (she's really officially Crew, but she kinda took on the role of ASM as a way to help the props mistress), and also former president of the group, asked to pull me aside and said that the *director* "had a problem with the anger" and asked me to curb the hostility (which...what hostility?) because it was "disrespectful." Well, it seemed really odd, because while I've never worked directly with this director before, I know her reputation well and I've already come to know in the short time working together that she doesn't hold back on her own vinegar when it's appropriate. She's not belittling (and I like to think I'm not either), but warm and loving she's not either. So it seemed strange that the tiny bit of frustration (which she was feeling too) and the strong note of warning I used would have been "over the line" to the director. But whatever, right? I know I'm scary and sometimes that puts people off. So okay.

But it bugged me.

I mentioned it to someone who has worked with this director A LOT and he said, "Well, that's kinda rich coming from her" which, yeah, I felt better.

But then the NEXT night, she told me that for the piece where I shout out of the booth, she doesn't want me to play it as apologetic and instead to be more gruff. And the actor to whom I say the line said (with the director standing RIGHT THERE), "Yeah, I don't know why you're being so nice on that line. Just be you."

I looked at him for a second and said, with all the love in the world, "Dude, fuck off." And he laughed (and she smiled too), but last night I told him why I really wanted to kill him at that moment. He has also worked with the director many times and knows her well and said, "Well, I would have said to her that she's not the warmest person in the world, either" and assured me that he didn't think there was any problem or that she was unhappy at all with me. Also that the fact that I'm unabashed about by bitchitude is something he likes about me. So good.

But it leaves the question of why the crew member told me she did have a problem. Uh-huh. Talked it over with Amy last night and she pointed out that this particular member has a history and a habit of having a conversation with some authority in which she's looking for permission to act, but the authority figure thinks she's just venting, and then she takes their sympathetic nod for the confirmation that she's looking for so she can "speak to" the person she feels is creating friction.

Oy.

Community theatre, man.



Okay - totally procrastinating and I should be getting work done. I just had to share and report on opening night.

I am way too busy for words, trying to keep my head above water, here.

But it's been a cool weekend. We went to the fandom party of awesome for a little while. I love nqdonne and lesyeuxverts00's apartment! It is the spiff.

Also hung out with flourish and her very cute, very nice young man. It was an accident of timing that the four of us arrived together and left together, but etakyma and I had tickets to Spookapella V at TCAN.

It was a great concert, but more subdued than in past years. The last one was very Halloween-y, but this seemed like an older crowd and maybe because it was the day after Halloween, no one but the performers were in costume. Well, two of the acts, anyway.

The third act (the post-intermission half) was the professional group Ball in the House. Awesome. But TOTALLY DISTRACTING in that two of the members I SWEAR could have been cast as the Black brothers.

No, sincerely.

Anyway.

hpalternity is still awesome and way too much fun. azkatraz is going to be SO AMAZING and we are really zeroing in on a lot of the fun stuff that we'll be doing, but we still need a ball coordinator and some other positions and more stuff should be forthcoming about that soon.

I have rehearsal for which I need to leave (and I need to eat!) and then I'll be home later tonight for a phone call with Dad and an Azkatraz chairs' chat.