Who the heck do I think I am?

The first installment of "All Things Considered"'s kids' book club was yesterday:

The Graveyard Book.

Although as usual, either no one asked or they didn't ask Gaiman to answer the important questions. Like "WHAT IS SILAS? WHERE DOES HE GO?"

But that's okay. And then I found this:

Mouse Circus

Which I'm sure anyone who reads his blog regularly (yes, etakyma, I'm looking at you) knows already. So I'm behind the curve. Sue me. Wicked cool.


Okay. Updates. Oy. So much has happened in the last month. Mockingbird is over. Bell, Book, and Candle will be over tonight. Of course it's supposed to snow and we're supposed to strike.... We'll see how that goes. My neck got all twingey again last night and it hurts to turn my head to the left again. ARGH.

In the next week, I have a class on Tuesday morning, I'm leaving early on Wednesday for an appointment, I have an orientation session all day Thursday, and then on Friday I'm heading to Rochester for the weekend because after that, rehearsals for Big start in earnest and I won't have time until January. Somewhere in there I have to get my passenger-side front tire looked at because I had to fill it with air about a week ago. No road trip with a bum tire, thank you!

The reason I'm going to Rochester is not a particularly happy one. ( It's time to kick Mom's move to assisted living into high gear. )

So, it's been a bit...hectic. Fraught. Tense. Those things. But it's okay.

I'm not going to audition for any more theatre through the winter - at least not until we have a better sense of timing - so that I am free to travel back and forth to Rochester on weekends and ferry stuff away one car-load at a time. The good news is that there should be no reason Mom can't go to the house over the winter as well, to move some of her items that she wants, or if I came in on a Friday we could go on Saturday and spend the day going through several boxes, then bring what we're keeping back to her new place. The bad thing is that it'll be more expensive than we'd hoped because it's more on the order of assisted living than just living someplace on one level. But insurance will pick up some, the sale of the house will bring in some funds (not a lot), and my earning shot up with the new job *just* in time to be able to help.

And as I put it to her, it's happening while she's still able to be fully in control (or at least mostly in control) of what's happening. She can make the decisions, she can still enjoy high activity and in fact may be more healthy as a result. It's just hard to face the reality of leaving her house after 37 years.

Then again, the maple tree's gone. So really? Not all that much point to staying anymore. :)

Oh, hai, LJ! I remember that I have a thing here. I can post on it. I can read up on what my friends are doing.

Yeah. I haven't done, like, any of that since returning to what I like to call real life.

Job is going fine. Still feel like I'm swimming in an ocean of things I don't understand, but it will start to make sense; I see the edges getting more and more defined each day. Of course, my Wii no longer knows who I am. I went 42 days without using it. It yelled at me. Metaphorically. (And yet I did lose weight, because my schedule really has been that grueling.)

Show (Nunsense) went okay. Would have gone better had I not caught the flu at Balticon, thus losing my VOICE three days before opening night. Yeah. But it's okay. I wish I could say this is the first time in my life I've had to deal with such a thing. Luckily, long experience has taught me how to pull a credible performance out of my butt even when I have very little instrument to work with. The notes were all there, but all my air was simply going into sound production. And the middle of my range, right at the break, was just really friggin' scratchy sounding all weekend. But it worked; it's over; I did manage to find the sound somewhere.

So I've been recovering from that and trying to force my computer to cooperate long enough to record all the necessary vocals for Lena's LeakyCon project ("The Warlock's Hairy Heart.") - gods, I need a new computer. That is next on my list, I swear.

What else? Oh - most important: PENNSIC IS A GO! I may need to cut things a little shorter than usual, so that I can be home and back at work *on* the 15th, but yes, I am going to Pennsic. Yay!

I think that's about all for the time being. Watching the Bruins (since the Penguins must win next year instead) and Game of Thrones and playing HP Alternity. What's up with you lovely folks?

So, last week there was this water main bustification in Boston, and we were on a "boil water" order for a while. They lifted it the morning I left for Rochester (so I got to wash my dishes before hitting the road), but my dentist appointment had already been postponed.

I hit the road, spent a couple days with Mom, went down to Pittsburgh for Crown, and came back home (via Rochester again) yesterday.

The highlights:
- Haircut! (quite a few compliments at Crown, too)
- New Headshots! This is good because I had an audition last night (grump: no callback) and one tomorrow, and I'll need 45 of the suckers for the June auditions
- Watched "Harper's Island" with Mom
- Acquired a bag of old garb, some of which can still be used, most of which either needs modification (ahem, I'm fat) or will just be part of the costume closet for theatrical use
- Continually squicked / worried about Mom and the way she lives. Not sure I can do anything to improve her situation.
- Left "The Last Detective" with her (she was finishing them up when I got there on Monday), which she enjoyed / devoured.
- Crown was COLD, RAINY, MUDDY - in other words, an AE Crown. Good practice for War Practice (note to self, remember arm-warmers and cold weather gear)
- I have a new misspelling of my name on the magnet! It's always hilarious when they get his name right (the complicated one) and mine wrong (the easy one)
- Watched Game 5 with the family
- Puked a LOT on Saturday night (yuck!)
- Went to dinner with erink and her partner, and also went to see Iron Man 2 with them. Did not get to play with the iPad because grouchyoldcoot bogarted it.
- Took Mom out for dinner for Mother's Day. Then she topped off my gas tank (which didn't quite even it up, but I'm not complaining)

Came back to Boston, got ready for the audition. Dutifully left in time to find the place, only to wait until after my appointment time with no one around. Phone dead! Went home, turned on computer. Immediately noted that I was IN THE WRONG PLACE - but the right place was only 5 blocks away. Jumped back in the car - tearing my pantyhose - and screamed over there. No problem. Only had about a 10 minute wait (enough time to shuck the torn hose!), but really didn't do well on my songs - especially the second one. The first one was okay, but I was tired from the long drive and I guess my voice wasn't sitting right. I could not get my heart rate or breathing back after the first song, so the emotional shift for the second was off. No callback. Not surprised, but MEH.

Cloudy and cold today. Also cramps, yuck. And NOTHING on the job front. Dentist appointment. Gum recession - yay. Don't need to do anything yet, but will.

ARGH.

And the Penguins are losing. What the fuck, boys?

Can there be Alternity? If I have to be wearing my crankypants, I'd like to at least be able to escape to where my characters are having a crappy time for much more life-threatening reasons.

So, I called up the chiropractor this morning. This chiropractor is the brother-in-law of one of the ladies in the show.

Trouble is, brother-in-law has no availability because he's going out of town. But they refer me to another chiropractor, and yes, they have a cancellation this morning, so can I be there in roughly 40 minutes from oh, right now?

Sure. I can do that.

Well, this chiropractor is *also* a neurologist, which is cool. He starts off by checking things like my ability to track with my eyes, my balance and reflexes (uh, I don't really have reflexes, btw, never have), and a bunch of sensory perception tests (am I touching with one point or two?), then range of motion. Oh, and did I know I have a little scoliosis?

Why, no. I did not know that. (Apparently Mom did - but they always told her it was too mild to do anything about. Gee, thanks, Mom. Helpful information for health history forms....)

Anyway. He does a bunch of exams and says, "Well, you may be having problems with your lumbar, but your real problem is the S-I joint on the right."

Yeah. Like the pain I've been interpreting as a. sciatica; b. hip dysplasia; c. I dunno wtf but my hip friggin' feels dislocated - for oh, twelve years? The pain that everyone else I've ever seen has told me it's because of the lumbar problems? Other way around.

And then he used electrical stims on the area (which is always the most wicked cool feeling in the world - it's uncomfortable but in a good way, like a really good stretch), and then ultrasonic stim (which I've never had before). Which also cracked me up because he had to leave the room twice to get all his equipment together (so, in other words, he's normal). And then he cracked the subluxation.

At which point he said, "Wow. That was big. Are you okay?"

Yeah, it was fairly major. He gave me an exercise to start doing when I feel I can get up and down from the floor (which is not quite yet) - six times a day, but not in a row. Six different times. Makes sense. Funny thing is, it was one of the exercises I had in my regular rotation, before the yoga and the action that threw the back out in the first place.

And I'm still hurting. Because by the time I got home the lumbar pain was back with a vengeance.

Tell ya, I can't win. I have a follow-up on Saturday. I'm going to try to stretch out these follow-ups, because dude, co-pays are not cheap. But I like him - he's a riot. (ETA: Sister-in-law apparently emailed 1st chiropractor directly and he said "No I could see her tomorrow at 4", so if I'm really still in horrible shape tomorrow I will call again - but I hope that it won't be necessary.)


Go read etakyma's journal for an account of the LOLTASTIC show we watched last night. Well, she watched all of it. She pinged me about halfway through it to share, and then I switched and we IM'd through the rest of it. OMG Polar Bear.


And the Penguins are LOSING. Down by two after the 2nd period. Nargh. Boys, you can't do this at this point. This is not playoff-worthy play. I'm not pleased. (ETA: Dangit. Lost by one, grrr. Next game is Friday, so they can catch'em.)


On the worksearch front, two items: 1. Going downtown tomorrow to interview / sign on with another placement firm. This one has both admin and professional jobs, so maybe it will turn something up, at least on a temporary basis if nothing else. 2. I have signed up to attend a 6-week long phone-in seminar, offered by Women For Hire. It promises some of the same tips and techniques as the career coach, only for a fraction (and I mean like, 2%) of the cost. Of course, I know going in this is because they fully expect it to be 1,000 people all listening, so it will be unlikely to have any kind of personal support, but hey, if in 6 weeks I can acquire 5 useful tips, it's worth it. The only worry is that once I paid my money, the invitation I received didn't tell me anything substantive about how to actually connect to the call. I'll go ahead and assume / hope that this means they will be in contact at a later date, closer to the beginning of the seminar, with the procedure. I hope it's something I can call in from the cell, as there will be at least one week when I'll be out of town and won't necessarily have net access.

So, y'know I said yesterday that there was a lot of flooding in Waltham?

Yeah.

My basement was not immune. Specifically, my *storage unit* in the basement. The one where I had books.

About 30 books with probably near-irreparable damage, including my senior yearbook from high school, a limited-edition "Order of the Phoenix", some books signed by the authors.... My dad's dissertation, some of the framed artwork he asked me to keep for him.... some are rare, some are out of print, a few are trade paperbacks easy to replace, but there's no extra money for that kind of thing right now.

About 20 books with medium damage, and another 30 or so with little to no damage, thankfully. The deluxe edition "Beedle the Bard" is okay inside, though the big case needs some repair. They're all drying out currently. I've got the worst ones in the bathtub with a fan on them; the medium-damaged ones are on the clothes drying rack. A few are outside. Some sheets and clothes that I'd set aside for a yard sale anyway, but that now have to be washed and dried.

There's stuff all over the place, drying out. Oy.

I have no idea if renters' insurance covers flood damage.

As losses go, really? Not so bad. The only thing that rips me up is the yearbook, and I'm working on saving that. I wish I could have saved the HP5, without having to tear off its box edition cover. No value left there. But the book will dry out.

I have to go report to unemployment and then I should shift laundry. Fun. Only - not.

I am not on Facebook. Or Twitter. (The Gwendolyn or Gwen Grace on each of those is NOT ME.) I am on LinkedIn, but by my real (legal) name, not my fan / SCA ones.

I do not have a photography studio in Arizona.

I am not an Executive Delivery Program Manager at IBM in Denver, or an Independent Investment Banking Professional in New York City, or an Office Manager in Dallas/Fort Worth.

I was not born in 1937.

I am not a pig who dreams of becoming a ballet dancer. (No. Really.)

I am not a student at Johns Hopkins.

I am not a blogger on a poetry competition board. (Wow.)

Um....

I'm also kinda flabbergasted. I guess there really is nothing original out there.

This has been a rather intense week. And no, I'm not cutting it. So there.

A short while ago, I offered to record a bunch of audio narration files for a pervasive game that flourish and a friend of hers were working on, called Civilite. The narratives took several locations around the MIT campus and transformed them into 19th-C. Parisian locations. It was so cool-sounding that I asked if I could play in the play-test.

And I did.

But it came on perhaps the busiest week I've had since I've been back after Christmas. Arisia was last weekend - convenient, in one sense, as it was just up the street from MIT, but also resulting in much walking and many late nights. Then this week, I had rehearsals every night, including two for the Weston gala performance last night, plus the gala itself, and plus there was voting this week (which did, like, no good, of course), and a few other miscellaneous errands (groceries, etc.).

On the upside, I did a LOT of walking this week, so it was good for me to get out and be active.

On the downside, it sapped a lot of energy.

I didn't suck at the game, but it was hard to not have easy access to the campus at all hours, as some of the other players did. I at least managed my planned double-cross expertly, though it's interesting that the character's post-game story included some negative consequences, though the character still survived and managed to escape to a less illustrious existence. That's not so surprising, though, considering some of the goals of the research study component of the play-test. Ethical choices and pressures, indeed. I am not really all that burdened with those. ;^D


I also did really well all week with the dieting - mostly because I was out and didn't spend money on any food while I was out, and didn't have time for anything more than micromeals before going out again - and then of course, this weekend. Blown. Spent a lot of money going out with the cast of the gala, too, but well, that was social, at least. Must get back out of the habit of drinking, as it more than doubles the bill. Diet Coke is just fine without that shot of Jack in. I don't need a margarita, either. (Although I *WAS* good Friday and had a salad instead of dessert, but Saturday we had cheesecake and brownies and I split chicken fingers with another cast member. Today? Leftover cake, sigh. Cheese and crackers for dinner. then a piece of cheescake for dessert. Must resist the tray of goodies leftover from the show!)

(There's a fun story about Victoria's Secret in here, too. I tried to find a better undergarment for my dress, being nearly backless. And Amy and I took one look at VS's "solution" and proceeded to construct one... for about $2.25 in materials and five minutes' sewing, instead of the $50 it would have cost for a bra and this little halter thing! Yeah.)


I had to make a mad dash to rehearsal tonight. For the second time since we started! Oy. I swear I read the schedule, but all I saw for tonight was "Russians and Bottle dancers." I didn't see the "Work Scenes 1-6 with principals" that was written *ABOVE* "Russians and Bottle Dancers". Oops. Luckily I screamed out there and made it in about 20 minutes. Narg.


But I got some interesting news today, too. Two of my SPN stories have been nominated for "No Rest for the Wicked" awards. I'm not sure what that is, but there are some cool folks nominated in various categories, like musesfool and copperbadge so I guess I'm in good company. The fics are Sometimes a Day Goes By for angst and The Children's Hour for best gen. And that's really interesting, because a. they're both older stories, and b. I don't even think TCH is my best gen fic. I don't know if there's a word limit, though, and most of my better stuff is longer.

I also don't know what I'm supposed to do, other than respond to "accept" the nomination. I'm a little new at this, getting recognized for writing, that is. It doesn't happen often.


Alternity continues to be awesome, if a little slowish. I know that events will pick up soon, though, so keep reading it, if you are! (And if you are, let us know? What do you think of how we're doing? We'll keep going, but a little feedback does help on occasion....)



Job search is nowhere. It's hard to stay motivated. I have callbacks for "The Final Battle" to prep this week (due the 30th!) and I dunno. Other stuff.

I guess that's pretty much the state of the Gwen right now.

So, I'm in Pittsburgh, a week early because grouchyoldcoot's mum passed away this weekend. We'd been planning to visit her and her husband for Christmas - now that's up in the air. I'm not even sure how long I'll wind up visiting - whether it will be through Christmas as planned, or longer, or what. I may or may not pass back through Rochester on the way home; this is also unknown at this time.

Of course, I had about 8 hours between when we decided I would come and when I left, so my hasty departure meant that a few things were not packed (nothing I can't replace), and a few things were not done (like running the garbage disposal to get rid of the eggshells), and a few things were done ahead of time (like leaving a note and rent check for January for the landlord) and a few things will have to sit until I get back (like my severance check, Dad's SS check, and any bills that come in). I should be able to pay the bills I've received out of what's in the checkbook, no problem, and a lot of my bills are autopay - cable, electric, phone, insurance - so that'll all take care of itself.

I didn't get to clean the house yet (that was a this-week project), and I haven't made room for the other sewing machine. Though I may be able to put it in the car if I do go back through Rochester.

I postponed the lunch I had planned with my friends at the vendor, the ones I worked with closely, and we'll reschedule in January.

Meanwhile, I called unemployment for the first time today to report no earnings. Man, I need to actually get back to looking for work!

One interesting thing was that on a lark, I brought the radar detector out with me, figuring that I could call the company if it still didn't work. But it worked! I don't know why it didn't all the times before when I tried to restore it, but this time, yay. And it's been working, yay. Of course, I didn't know that in the meantime NY passed a ban on them. Luckily, so far, I haven't been stopped (knock wood!). Of course, speeding is also illegal, so... in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. But I don't need to be caught, in either case. My dad got a ticket in Georgia a couple weeks ago. Bastard got off with only a $75 fine. I've already had two tickets in NY, neither for actually speeding (they were both downgraded), but even without the points or anything, they were over $200 each. No, thank you! There's no need to speed that badly.

As etakyma posted, we went back to HP: The Exhibition on Friday and took our sweet time walking through it. The names are WHACKED. I don't think very many of them were ever meant to be seen close-up, because they are really totally made up, Monty Python types of names (no, there's no throat-warbler-mangrove, but some come close). The frustration of the day was not being able to look at some of the costumes in 360 degrees - which we knew would be the case, the way things are setup - but I think we can look for screencaps of some of the angles we wanted to see. I should have brought a mirror, really. The silly moment of the day came right near the end. We were looking in detail at McG's and Sirius's costumes - they are two of the last things on display - and trying to make out the back of Sirius, to see if it has a riding slit up the back of the coat, or not. We each had mini-mag-lites, though the battery in mine needs to be changed. We were using A's light to try to get a better look at the construction. One of the docents asked what we were doing. We explained ("No, we're not taking photographs, we're not touching, we're just looking with a mini-flashlight"). Where all the other docents had been happy to let us do our thing, once they figured out that we weren't disturbing anything, this guy had a problem. With a 10-watt pocket torch. A few minutes later a security guy comes over and tells us that we can't use the light. Whatever - it was the *last* costume. We'd been in the exhibit for 3 hours already, dude. What on earth is the objection to a teeny flashlight that can't possibly cause fading?

Anyway. Lots of sketches, lots of names and titles and little details. I totally forgot to copy out Umbridge's questionnaire for the teachers, and the O.W.L. papers, but that's okay. There were so many little things on the Common Room notice board that you couldn't read. Man, I'd love to have some time to throw on protective gloves and actually manipulate some of the artifacts.

We each bought a program guide (more reminders than anything), and I replaced my Nimbus hat with an HP: The Exhibition cap, and I also got a wicked cool mug that is heat activated. With hot liquid inside it, a Marauders' Map shows up on the outside. Very nifty. Also noticed HP music boxes from SF Music Box Company, very expensive in the gift shop but very *not* expensive on the SF Music Box Co's website. Not for buying right now, though.


Sunday, while J's mother was busy dying (wah), went to the Wellesley holiday party. Interesting confirmation that my audition for Hodel was *not* pointless, but that there weren't enough other people auditioning within the same age range, so that they had to cast everything younger. Still, I know I'll have fun with the role and was assured by many that I'll be great. Whee.

Monday, when I got in to Mom's, we went out to her pastor's house. It's her pastor's 53rd birthday, but she cooked dinner for 15 people - because she loves to cook. Okay by me! We had salad, beef burgundy over noodles, butternut squash risotto, and two kinds of cake and two kinds of ice cream. Yum, yum, yum. Also, although these are 'church' people, they are the least churchy group I've ever known. Even when I lived in Rochester, I can say definitively that these folks do not shy away from the innuendo and the double entendre. Much blushing was done by nearly everyone as we all embarrassed ourselves and each other. Very fun. (The topics included how quickly one can get drunk on champagne, first experiences with marijuana, the effect of long nails on certain parts of anatomy, etc. You get the picture. Christians with dirty minds!)


Ah. J is now done for the time being so we are going to get dinner. YAY. Food.

First off, pursuant to my post about upcoming movies, there's this piece from A.O. Scott in today's NYT:

Screen Memories - in which he actually has kind of a meta discussion about movie-viewing and personal canon.


Second, in my ranting about SPN last night, I forgot a mini-rant about Top Chef this week. I'm not sure this counts as a spoiler - so without revealing the outcome, I'll just say that Tom Colicchio FAILS at Food History 101. He actually criticized one of the chefs Wednesday by saying, "I don't know how much you know about Medieval food, but basically, meat was so rank back then that they spiced everything really really heavily to cover up for it."

NO, Tom. That's a myth. Granted, I pretty much agree that the chef didn't show any understanding of medieval food, or any creativity, but they did NOT spice things because they were eating rotten meat. Thanks for setting cultural anthropology back again - on national TV. No Love, Gwen.


Third, sigh. I was really hoping she'd be out today.


Fourth, Project Runway: Um... Why am I not thrilled with any of these collections - and honestly, I really don't care for any of the models who are still in the competition. Tanisha is a great model but really vain. I don't like Kalyn at all. Lisa annoys me. Oh, and Irina? Get over yourself, honey.


Fifth, Job search: I had an interview yesterday (oh, and must write thank-you note to her), but it's for a job that I would not accept. It's within the Medical Center, but it's a serious step *backward* - and not with any sort of path that would open up. Basically it's what I was doing at Mt Auburn, only within Nursing Quality, which means it's actually a level *down* because I'd be doing it for the director of nursing and not the director of quality for the whole medical center. It's also down a paygrade, which would mean a minimum of a $6,000/year cut. Now, maybe if I'd been out of work for 6 months already and wasn't finding anything, I'd consider it just to get working again. But at this point, I don't think it's the right move at all.

But on that note, when I talked with the HR person about the job search and other positions to which I'd applied, I got some of the same crap I've been getting all along. HOW in the FUCK is anyone supposed to get supervisory experience - by which they mean, professional *direct* reports over whom one has the power to hire, discipline, and fire - unless you can get a job that involves supervision?? I mean, shit, at this point, I'd be doing better if I'd gone into retail full-time. The problem with that (aside from the obvious Retail Sucks!) is that it's all nights and weekends. Which means theatre takes a swan dive. But seriously - SERIOUSLY - I can hire people. I can interview. I can fire people - it's not comfortable to do and it sucks, but dude, there are procedures and guidelines in almost any professional organization. It may be hard, but it's not *difficult*.

ARGH. I've got to find something this time that is not completely independent, that involves leading groups and/or managing other people. That's just all there is to it. Even if it's ONE other person - it's the gap I have to figure out how to close.


And speaking of theatre (I really was, didn't you see it in there?), Sixth: Auditions for "Musical of Musicals". They added a third night of auditions (which I may or may not have blogged about. I meant to, if I didn't), but even then, they could not cast the male lead. Which means they have scrapped the show - but they've asked everyone who auditioned to participate in a more traditional "gala" performance with concert-style presentations of numbers from popular shows - I believe popular shows they've done, but I'm really not sure. Don't care - I'm in, and it means I might get some good showcasing.

And auditions for "Fiddler" are coming up and I have to figure out what to do. Must go read the notice again.

Also need to check some job boards.

Bleh. I really, really hate looking for work. I kinda hate working, which doesn't help at all.

So my uncle died last night, around midnight.

I'll be heading to Baltimore tomorrow late afternoon and returning on Monday same.

(Oh, and apparently the recycling guys put my Netflick in the post! Because I'm sure I didn't, but Netflix received it today, hooray!! Phew, because of course that was an obscure, out of print DVD and not something easily replaced.

Thank you nice recycling guys!)