Who the heck do I think I am?

Okay, I am a genius. I'm sure this has also been done before, but shut up. I'm SMRT.

So, for reasons that probably don't need to be explained (or, well, better not have to be because I really can't right now), I was thinking last night about how much one could condense and compress the core story of Harry Potter - and specifically, could one get it down to a drabble?

Well, I couldn't quite manage 100 words, but I think I did a pretty good job with 200. It could be tweaked, I'm sure.

Mind you, this is pretty bare-bones - no subplots, no explanations, no characters unless they're absolutely integral. Okay, one or two things because I had room. (The really bare-bones version is 150 words!) But here, for your amusement, is my open beta double-drabble on Harry Potter:


Harry Potter lived in a cupboard until age 11. He learns he’s a wizard whose parents were murdered by Voldemort, who is not quite dead. Voldemort tries to reincorporate during Harry’s first year at wizarding school, but fails because he can’t touch Harry. In year two, Harry also destroys a diary containing a past echo of Voldemort. In his third year, Harry learns that his godfather Sirius was framed and the man responsible, Peter Pettigrew, has been hiding ever since. Harry helps Sirius, but Pettigrew also escapes and helps Voldemort return. This breaks the enchantment protecting Harry from Voldemort’s touch. Harry realizes he can see Voldemort’s thoughts, but Voldemort tricks him into thinking Sirius is in danger. Harry tries to rescue Sirius but Sirius falls through a curtain and dies. Harry then learns from Dumbledore that Voldemort separated fragments of his soul into Horcruxes, like the diary. Dumbledore assigns Harry the task of finding and destroying the others. He does. Meanwhile, Voldemort searches for a magic wand that will make him invincible. Neville kills a snake, Voldemort kills Harry, which busticates the Harry-horcrux, but Harry comes back and wins because Voldemort grabbed the wrong wand. The End. Epilogue? What Epilogue?


Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters!

Comment with your own versions! HP in 200 words or less!

Herein are the little flopsies (and one drabble) I wrote for my Fic-or-Treat presents. These are all basically flash fiction - unbeta'd, barely proofread, and I didn't even attempt to make them drabble-length because that's just too much work. Except for the R/S drabble, because that just kind of happened and didn't require hardly any effort to make it a drabble.

However, at the end of this post are also three drabbles I wrote using ficwriter1966's first lines from her First Lines meme/challenge.

( For Teffy, a Remus/Sirius Flopsy )


( For aoibhe, another R/S Flopsy )


( For doomette, a Remus/Sirius drabble )



( For heartfelt_angel, a bit of silly meta )



( For elethoniel, a Teen!Chesters Flopsy )



( For afrocurl, a SPN S3 Flopsy )



( For wendy, another Teen!Chesters Flopsy )



( For starxd_sparrow, a Dean Flopsy with a shout-out to the City of Bridges )



( For Sea0tter12, a John Flopsy )


This last one incorporates a joke I've had in mind for a long time, but I don't know if I'll ever actually write the fic about it. I talked about it in the comments to one of my Monday Metas over at wee_chesters here.


And then here are the ( three drabbles: )

:collapses