Who the heck do I think I am?

Okay, I am a genius. I'm sure this has also been done before, but shut up. I'm SMRT.

So, for reasons that probably don't need to be explained (or, well, better not have to be because I really can't right now), I was thinking last night about how much one could condense and compress the core story of Harry Potter - and specifically, could one get it down to a drabble?

Well, I couldn't quite manage 100 words, but I think I did a pretty good job with 200. It could be tweaked, I'm sure.

Mind you, this is pretty bare-bones - no subplots, no explanations, no characters unless they're absolutely integral. Okay, one or two things because I had room. (The really bare-bones version is 150 words!) But here, for your amusement, is my open beta double-drabble on Harry Potter:


Harry Potter lived in a cupboard until age 11. He learns he’s a wizard whose parents were murdered by Voldemort, who is not quite dead. Voldemort tries to reincorporate during Harry’s first year at wizarding school, but fails because he can’t touch Harry. In year two, Harry also destroys a diary containing a past echo of Voldemort. In his third year, Harry learns that his godfather Sirius was framed and the man responsible, Peter Pettigrew, has been hiding ever since. Harry helps Sirius, but Pettigrew also escapes and helps Voldemort return. This breaks the enchantment protecting Harry from Voldemort’s touch. Harry realizes he can see Voldemort’s thoughts, but Voldemort tricks him into thinking Sirius is in danger. Harry tries to rescue Sirius but Sirius falls through a curtain and dies. Harry then learns from Dumbledore that Voldemort separated fragments of his soul into Horcruxes, like the diary. Dumbledore assigns Harry the task of finding and destroying the others. He does. Meanwhile, Voldemort searches for a magic wand that will make him invincible. Neville kills a snake, Voldemort kills Harry, which busticates the Harry-horcrux, but Harry comes back and wins because Voldemort grabbed the wrong wand. The End. Epilogue? What Epilogue?


Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters!

Comment with your own versions! HP in 200 words or less!

From juniperus:

Funniest, weirdest fashion show ever

I mean, really. What?

So, one of the houses on my daily walk is a family with a young girl. Last year she was just a wee infant; now she is approximately two years old. Very twee.

And it had rained this afternoon, you see. So I walked by this evening to see young girl sitting on the pavement, her mum crouched by her side, struggling to put back on one of her wellies. Young girl the stood and revealed her stunning ensemble: red ladybug slicker (hood up, though it's no longer raining), matching red lady bug wellies (so wee they shouldn't be allowed). And holding mum's hand so proceeded to puddlemuck. Pumping her feet like Jennifer Beals in "Maniac."

Adorable.

No, I still don't want kids, thanks. But sometimes they're highly amusing.

Right. Now off to the PO to send TY notes to Portus guests and boxes to Maghnus.

How sad is it that I'm most depressed that my chair will not make it to War this year? My camp table and mirror box I can live without, though inconvenient. But my chair? Feh. World's most comfortable camping chair!

I see a trip to Target once in Pittsburgh....