The chat...

Mar. 4th, 2004 09:44 am
gwendolyngrace: (OldNimbus)
[personal profile] gwendolyngrace
Jumping right into the stupidity:

What are Ron, Hermione and Ginny's middle names? Ginny is Molly, of course, Hermione 'Jane' and Ron, poor boy, is Bilius.

Ginny Molly Weasley? What the shit is that? Say that five times fast, for chrissakes. Argh.

What houses were Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Remus Lupin in? Everyone tells me they were all Gryffindor, but I won't believe it unless I hear it from Ms. Rowling herself! This is JK herself saying that they were indeed in Gryffindor!

Well, duh. But really the problem here isn't the answer: it's the question. If someone had been thinking, they should have asked how many other boys besides them were in their year in Gryffindor. Then we would have gotten more information.

What does the "J" in Remus J Lupin stand for? 'John'. Boring but true!

No, dear. Sorry. It's Jupiter. Try it out like you're angry. Remus Jupiter Lupin! Much better. John is a fine name, but you pegged it with that "boring" comment.

Whatever happend to Sirius' flying motorbike? You'll find out, but the real sleuths among you might be able to guess.

Um.... Well, let's see. Hagrid went to return it, but by then Sirius was being arrested. So... Hagrid still has it? Given your propensity for the obvious answer, I'm going to guess that's it.

Will the two way mirror Sirius gave Harry ever show up again? Ooooo good question. There's your answer.

Hey, could it be....? Especially when combined with:

If we ever see Sirius again, what form will he be in? I couldn't possibly answer that for fear of incriminating myself.

I have a sneaking suspicion...all you SIDL'ers are right. Beyond the Veil may become canon yet!

Will we be hearing anything from Sirius Black's brother, Regulus, in future books? Well, he's dead, so he's pretty quiet these days.

So much for the Stubby Boardman theory.

Is Harry related to Godric Gryffindor? Maybe he is ;)

'Cause that would just be too cute!

Can we believe everything the sorting hat says? The Sorting Hat is certainly sincere.

And remember what Michael Flanders said: "Always be sincere. Whether you mean it or not."

Will Lord Voldemort get more 'screentime' in the upcoming books? You will see him again, but like most evil dictators, he prefers his henchmen to do his dirty work.

Yet more evidence that Voldemort has NOT read the Evil Overlord's Guide? Yeesh. Hasn't he learned by now that his henchmen are substandard?

How did Harry get the Marauder's Map back, when Crouch Jr. had it last? I knew I should have shown Harry nipping into Moody's empty office and getting it back, but I assumed you'd all know that's what he did. Sorry!

Sorry? Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it, lady. Just WHEN did he "nip" back in there? Huh? Flint, I say. Bald-faced flint.

What is Trelawney's middle name (the one with the P)? Patricia.

Again with the dopey middle names? Sybill Patricia Trelawney. That really rolls of the tongue, that does. How can an author who spends so much energy on her character names be so crap about the middle names?

Will Neville have a bigger part to play? I think he's already got a much bigger part. Neville has changed a lot as he's become older and more confident. Book five was a real turning point for Neville.

1. I have to do this at least once. I was right. 2. But there's also the little matter that Neville's really the one who will defeat Voldemort, right? RIGHT? Oh, whoops. Sorry. I forgot - no interesting revelations allowed. My mistake. Nevermind.

Was Percy acting entirely of his own accord in Order of the Phoenix? I'm afraid so.

Fix Percy!

When you turn into an Animagus, can you choose what animal you become? Or does this get "assigned" to you? No, you can't choose. You become the animal that suits you best. Imagine the humiliation when you finally transform after years of study and find that you most closely resemble a warthog.

So I was right. Then again, so were about 3,000,000 other people.

Do you have any future plans in particular for Draco Malfoy? I've got plans for all my characters. Actually, this is a really good place to answer a question about Draco and Hermione, which a certain Ms. Radcliffe is desperate to have answered. Will they end up together in book six/seven? NO! The trouble is, of course, that girls fancy Tom Felton, but Draco is NOT Tom Felton!

Well, at least you've cleared that up. Does that mean, by extension, that Dan is not Harry, Rupert is not Ron, Alan is not Severus, and Gary is not Sirius? Thanks.

Some of us liked Draco without the influence of Tom, woman. Criminetly, could you please see the potential of your characters? Thanks.


If a muggle looks at hogwarts what will they see? love Persia

Read the books, Persia.

No, JKR didn't say that. She just wanted to.

I wonder if you can let us know what form will Professor Snape's Boggart and Patronus take? Well, I'm not going to tell you Ernie, but that's because it would give so much away.

Well, that narrows it down considerably, doesn't it? There's only about a half-dozen obvious choices there.

Who are the two "unknown Gryffindor girls" in Harry's year? Oh, I've just understood what you mean. I haven't got the notebook to hand and I can't remember! That's terrible. I'll try and remember before the end of the chat!

They're so unknown, even *she* doesn't know who they are. Which at least settles one thing: they won't suddenly become important, or anything.

Do you plan for Ginny to take on a major character role in the next two books? Well, now that Ginny has stopped being mute in Harry's presence I think you can see that she is a fairly forceful personality (and she always has been, remember Ron saying that she 'never shuts up' in Chamber of Secrets)?

Note to Ginny-haters: I always figured she was more assertive than we'd seen. Go read HMSS and see Ginny date a Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. La.

How did you invent the sport 'Quiddicth'(sic) I sat in a hotel room after a row with my then boyfriend and invented it. Looking back, I can understand why I liked the idea of Bludgers.

Which way to go with this one... either she thought it would be nice to slap him around with an iron ball, or she thought maybe her boyfriend had iron *for*....

How old are Charlie and Bill Weasley in relation to their other siblings? Oh dear, maths. Let me think. Bill is two years older than Charlie, who is two years older than Percy.

I'll join the rest of the ENTIRE FANDOM now in a giant WHAT!?!?! Oh, woman, please, we've just got to get you to stop answering any question that involves numbers of any kind. Better yet, don't take any interviews anymore - you get it all wrong. Better yet - stop now, you're ruining the series. Let us take over for you.

Is 12 the maximum possible number of OWLs one can achieve? Yes, I think it is off the top of my head.

See above, our comment about numbers. But in this case, we'll let it go.

What will Ron's job be when he leaves school? Well, assuming he lives to leave school... I'm not going to tell you :)

Just for you, Heidi... and the other Ron-haters out there. Look! He might pop his clogs yet!

Is Remus a pureblood? Half blood.

Er.. okay. Well, one of them had to be. But luckily, we've got at least two definitions of half-blood in canon, so I'll just assume you meant that his father is pureblooded and his mother was a Muggle-born witch. Problem solved. But that middle name...gotta go. On the bright side, this totally screws the pooch on the Remus = James theory.

what happened to worm tale? You'll find out in book six.

Duh.

Does Harry's eyecolour become important in the future books, like we've heard? No comment!

Double-duh.

Is Draco an only child? Yes. You wouldn't want more Dracos, would you?!

Well, whether I want more Dracos or not is immaterial. The question was, would Narcissa and Lucius have wanted another one?

Why did you choose to do books about wizards? It chose me... the idea just sprang into my head and I knew I had to write it.

Yeah, I'd like to know that, too, because clearly you don't know ANYTHING about writing books with magic in them. Argh.

Why specifically does Dumbledore trust Snape? Another excellent and non-answerable question. I shall merely say that Snape has given Dumbledore his story and Dumbledore believes it.

He's *given* Dumbledore his story? Surely, Dumbledore already knew it? Oh, wait. That's right. Dumbledore is a tool. My mistake. Nevermind.

Did you base Voldermort on any real people? If so are you related to them?! lol No I didn't base Voldemort on any real person!

Bush? Saddam Hussein? Darth Vader? (Sh, you. Of course he's real.) What real person do you have in mind, there, sparky?

will harry become head master of hogwarts I'm not sure I can see Harry in an academic career, he's seen so much action!

So much for all those Harry as teacher fics. Oh - I guess that rules out Mirror of Maybe, too, huh?

Are Harry's powers going to get even greater? Yes, he's really progressing as a wizard now (which is lucky, because I know what's in store for him).

Well, yeah, that would be because he's the HERO?! Yeesh, go read Joseph Campbell, kid.

why did voldemort pick harry and not neville Dumbledore explains this in 'Order of the Phoenix'. Voldemort identified more with the half-blood boy and therefore decided he must be the greater risk.

Yeah, and because by so doing, he's actually eliminated Harry as the one who will destroy him, because it's Neville! Oh, wait. Whoops, I forgot. That theory's interesting, so it's ruled out. Damn. Sorry. Nevermind.

Why did you kill Sirius? It made me very sad :( I'm really, really sorry. I didn't want to do it, but there was a reason. If you think you can forgive me, keep reading, you'll find out. [I feel really guilty now].

Hm. Combined with the other Sirius/death questions (hey, I've just paired Sirius and Death... but be aware, it's het)...so, she killed him to bring him back through the mirror? Perhaps? Or is that too interesting? If it's obvious, we might just be right.

Is there a link between Snape and vampires? Erm... I don't think so.

Phew.

Has Voldermort any children No. Voldemort as a father... now that's not a nice thought.

Wrong question again, kiddies. Has *Riddle* got any children? Different ball of wax altogether.

why did Harry have to split up with Cho Chang? That's life, I'm afraid. They were never going to be happy, it was better that it ended early!

Besides, would you date a waterworks like that? Cho, such a disappointment.

If Harry dies in the ending of the books, will Voldemort be invincible? I can't possibly answer. You'll have to read book seven!

'Cause that's what the prophecy certainly implies, doesn't it? Unless of course it's Neville. Whoops. Sorry. Nevermind.

If you could change anything about Harry Potter what would it be? I'd kill Hagrid instead of Sirius There are loads of things I would change. I don't think any writer is ever completely happy with what they've written. One of these days - once seven is finished - I'll revise all seven books.

Nooooooo! It's one thing to write them badly in the first place, but then to go and clean everything up? You need a beta-reader very, very badly, madam. Just let us fix it for you. Please.

Who is the 'one that never will return' deatheater? You have to work it out, but a lot of fansites have got it right.

Wait, I get it now! I get it! She reads our fansites...and she knows that if she does anything really off beat that any one of us actually got right, we'll be able to prove it. So...maybe she's making the books banal and pedestrian *because* we're so much more creative than she is? So if we all just STOPPED, she'd be able to do whatever she wants? ... Nah, that trick never works. Game on, my children.

Will Winky ever recover? Poor Winky... she'll never be entirely cured of her Butterbeer addiction, I'm afraid.

House-elf 12 step programs! Winky acknowledges that she cannot control her addiction and must surrender herself to a higher power....

How long does it take you to plan a book before you even start writing? Or do you just plan as you go along? It's hard to say; book six has been planned for years, but before I started writing seriously I spend two months re-visting the plan and making absolutely sure I knew what I was doing (learning from my mistakes - I didn't check the plan for 'Goblet of Fire' and had to re-write a third of the book.

Yeah, that was a funny story. Tell you what, next time? Hire an EDITOR.

what will happen to hagrids half brother? You'll find out in book six. Luckily he's become a little more controllable.

Right, because an uncontrollable full-blooded giant is just what Hogwarts needs mostest.

Dumbledore is getting older, will it be alot harder for him to fight Lord Voldermort this time around? He is getting older, but he didn't do badly at the end of 'Phoenix', so there's life in him yet!

I'm not dead...I'm getting better.... Could it be that she might actually break the mold of fantasy literature and allow a major mentor character to survive? But...but...wouldn't that be ORIGINAL? Say it ain't so, Jo....

Is there going to be a new minister of magic in the next books? Yes. Ha! Finally, a concrete bit of information, I hear you cry!

Well, yeah, but she said "books." Could happen at the end of 7. Doubt it. So this goes to yet another, Duh.

And finally...
Any thoughts about a prequel series? No, no prequels here. You won't need them by the time I've finished, you'll have all the back story you'll need!

Excuse me? Have you *looked* around the fandom lately? She don't know us very well, do she?

Oh, well. So much with the disappointed. To quote another Gary Oldman line: Very...DISA*POINT*ED!

Could be worse. We had to wait nearly 20 years to find out that George Lucas sucked.

ETA: The motorbike? I was of course going for simple and straightforward, but of course, the puppyshippers know who wound up with it....

Date: 2004-03-04 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wordplay.livejournal.com
Any thoughts about a prequel series? No, no prequels here. You won't need them by the time I've finished, you'll have all the back story you'll need!

Excuse me? Have you *looked* around the fandom lately? She don't know us very well, do she?

LOL - this was exactly my thought on this. I don't know if you can EVER have enough back story.

Date: 2004-03-04 09:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyguenivere.livejournal.com
i enjoyed reading your version of the interview much more than the actual interview. *grin*

And as for the ages -- yeah, it still doesnt make sense. She's nutters.

Date: 2004-03-04 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siriologist.livejournal.com
I enjoyed your answers much more than JKR's. I think most of these chats and interviews are so pointless. But, at least she didn't say dead is dead is dead in regards to Sirius. I just may read books 6 and 7 afterall ... maybe ... when they come out in paperback.

Date: 2004-03-04 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] go-back-chief.livejournal.com
Well, at least you've cleared that up. Does that mean, by extension, that Dan is not Harry, Rupert is not Ron, Alan is not Severus, and Gary is not Sirius? Thanks.

Some of us liked Draco without the influence of Tom, woman. Criminetly, could you please see the potential of your characters? Thanks.


Thank you so much for saying that, because it feels slightly better knowing that I wasn't the only one terribly disappointed by that interview. I wonder if JKR doesn't realise that a large portion of her fans are grown-ups.

Hee

Date: 2004-03-04 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwendolyngrace.livejournal.com
Yup, all grown up and old enough to remember Elfquest...from the beginning...before Barry Blair made it jump the shark.

Even old enough to have seen the original shark jump...on its original air date.

Heh.

Re: Hee

Date: 2004-03-04 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] go-back-chief.livejournal.com
Heh. Considering how unknown it always was in Sweden (I think they only translated the first 20 volumes), I always tend to get surprised by anyone knowing what it is.

Was it Barry Blair who took after Wendy Pini?

Date: 2004-03-04 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aylapascal.livejournal.com
Go you! ::grins::

This is why I never read any of the interviews. The answers are bloody pointless.

Date: 2004-03-04 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-elijah.livejournal.com
Gwen (BTW- I totally love the "Missing Nimbus" icon)

At least she said one thing that caught my attention: The new Minister of Magic... now *that* should be interesting.

Date: 2004-03-04 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwendolyngrace.livejournal.com
Thanks! The icon is gacked from [livejournal.com profile] heidi8.

Date: 2004-03-04 07:49 pm (UTC)

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