happy birthday, erinrua!

[gwendolyngrace]

Can't sleep, and this fic popped into my head, so Happy Birthday, erinrua!

Hope your day is happier than this wee bit of angst.

ETA: Supernatural Fanfiction Awards Featured Story (June 2008)

Title: Mother's Day
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen
Characters: John, wee!Dean




"Dad?"

John cracked an eye open on the room and instantly regretted it. God, everything hurt. The harsh glare from the bedside lamp felt like a hot lancet direct to his brain.

"Dean," he muttered, and his lips felt muzzled, swollen. "Lights out, okay?"

Dean turned the lamp off, but a second click put it back on at a lower wattage. "You can't go to sleep, Dad."

"Can't?" John parrotted. "Whosays? Time'zit?"

"It's about oh-one-hundred, but you can't sleep. Please, Dad. Uncle Bobby says--"

"You called Bobby?" John scrubbed his face; missed; tried again and damn, if that didn't set the gremlins to jack-hammering the inside of his skull. "'S the middle of the night." Jesus, was he really slurring that badly? "Go to bed, champ. Turn that light out."

John tried to turn over, put his back to the table and the lamp and his boy, but he could only make it onto his stomach before that particular patch of anatomy warned him he should quit while he was ahead. The pillow was dark enough.

"No, sir," Dean said distinctly.

John forced his head to the side, wincing. "What?"

"No, sir. I'm not letting you sleep. Not for at least six hours."

John stared at his son in shock for a moment. Any other day, he'd have kicked Dean's ass across the room for disobedience like that. Outright refusal of a direct order? Not Dean's SOP. And what the Hell had crawled up Dean's britches tonight, of all nights? "Where's your brother?"

Dean refused to be deflected, which was odd in itself. "He's in the other bed. He's fine. Dad, please, I'll stay up with you, but if you go to sleep, Uncle Bobby says--"

Suddenly, Dean's concern and his words clicked in John's muddled brain. "Son, I do not have a concussion. Just a headache. A killer sonuvabitch of a headache. And it's late and you and Sammy have school, so go get in beside your brother and let me get some shut-eye."

Dean shook his head. "I can't. I won't let you, sir. I'm okay, I'll stay up with you--"

"No you will not. I told you, I am fine. In fact, sleep is the only thing I do need." With great effort, John turned his back to the room.

"Then I'm calling the paramedics."

John sat up and pointed at Dean on pure adrenaline and anger. "Absolutely not. The only thing you're doing, young man, is parking your ass in that bed with your brother, and leaving me the fuck alone."

"But Uncle Bobby--"

"Fuck Bobby," John spat. "I do not have a concussion!" He had the presence of mind not to raise his voice, but the intensity of it still made his teeth hurt, and his eyes felt about to pop out of his head. His stomach flipped and he lunged out of the bed, propelled himself past Dean and into the bathroom, and retched into the toilet.

When he came out, Dean handed him a glass of water. He drank cautiously. "Sure acts like a concussion," Dean grumbled.

"Excepting in how it's not," John said wearily. He sat down on the bed, afraid that his wobbly legs would no longer hold him. "Dean. Trust the old man, here. I haven't hit my head on anything." He looked up imploringly.

Dean's eyes widened; then his mouth followed suit. "Oh."

John felt his last reserves slipping away. He rubbed his eyes with an open palm and slid between the sheets. "Please, son. Leave it alone." His voice cracked on the last syllable. "Just let be, Dean," he said, losing any semblance of control over the tears that had been threatening all day, the thickness in his throat that the whiskey had been able to chase, but Dean's protective sincerity had brought crashing to the surface again.

He felt, more than heard, the change in light, the settling of the room as Dean climbed into bed. A few seconds of silence hung between the coverlet and the bedstead.

"Dad?" Dean whispered.

"Yeah, son," John said, more in agreement than acknowledgment.

"M'sorry," his boy said despondently.

"I know. Me, too," John agreed again, flat and numb with exhaustion.

"So...are you just...hungover?" He brought up the word as if it were a cuss, and John had the impression Dean wasn't sure he'd diagnosed his father correctly, but had bravely put the term out there, just to see if he'd hit the target.

John sighed. He should have stayed away until he could come back fully functioning again. He should have waited to return to the only thing he could call home anymore: wherever his boys laid their heads.

But if he had to get through without her, he couldn't do without them.

"Go to sleep, Dean," he rumbled. "Before it's time for Sammy to get up."

"Yes, sir. M'sorry," he repeated.

"Already told me," John reminded him.

"It's just...I thought--"

"I know, sport. You thought you were taking care of me. I get it." He sighed slowly. "Some things you just can't take care of."

"'Zit...I mean," Dean ventured, trailing off uncertainly.

"Yeah," John admitted, voice thick with grief. "It's because it's her birthday."

Comments

[ficwriter1966.livejournal.com]

Hooray for the birthday fic for erinrua!

This is lovely and hurty - poor sweet Dean being so proactive and protective, insisting on doing things his (Bobby's) way despite being yelled at. You just know there were days when all the pain and the loss came avalanche-ing down, and there's nothing to do but give in to it. Nicely done.

[bellasianna.livejournal.com]

*cries little tears*
Beautiful and oh so sad. Written in such a nice way.

[july-july-july.livejournal.com]

What a lovely little birthday fic!

I would love to have seen the other end of that phone call to Bobby. "Your daddy's what, now? Crap."

[pinkphoenix1985.livejournal.com]

*sniff* so sad!

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

what a winchester assumption, that john has a (no doubt hunt-related) concussion instead of a hangover. i love that dean reaches that conclusion, calls bobby for help, and attempts to basically browbeat his dad into being taken care of. it would be really cute if it wasn't so sad. :( i mean, i love me some take-charge!dean, but wee!dean shouldn't have to be taking care of his dad like this.

and man, poor john, i want to smack him and hug him at the same time.

[embroiderama]

Oh, this made me tear up for the both of them. It's lovely.

[irismay42.livejournal.com]

Aw that was lovely! And you can totally imagine Dean trying to do sentry duty like that.

[soydolcelatte.livejournal.com]

This is beautifully sad. Um, that's actually a compliment. :)

[saavikam77.livejournal.com]

Oh, boys... O_O *hugs them* little!Dean is such a trooper, trying to take care of his dad like that. Bravo!!

[pippii.livejournal.com]

This was so beautilful and so sad and it made me cry for both of them.
Poor Dean thinking dad is hurt and trying to take care of him - and knowing it is his mums birthday - and poor John,,,just poor John;)

[sadelyrate.livejournal.com]

Oh...
Thank You.

This is the John Winchester I can accept, ringing true to his character right down to the should'ves. And Dean... oh, Dean...
It might not have been the best childhood the boys could've had, but it could've also been so much worse, too.

Thank you for sharing this.

*hugs*

[nightowlv.livejournal.com]

Full of heartache. And very much what it would have been like on those days when John couldn't think of anything but Mary. It was so like Dean to know that it was his mom's birthday and to try so hard to take care of his dad, with a little help from Bobby, of course. Well done.

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

Oh, John. Oh, Dean. Those poor damaged boys need a hug, and, in John's case, some aspirin.

Oh, wow .....

[erinrua.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. This is like black coffee and dark chocolate, the bitter and the sweet intertwined. Poor John, so stricken with grief (and teh hangover), and helpless to really do anything even as little Dean tries to make Daddy all more better. And Bobby! Even then, Dean looked to and trusted Uncle Bobby.

*wibble* This is a gorgeous snapshot of the love and pain Dean and John shared. Thank you SO much for this! I'm sorry you couldn't sleep, but for my part, I count it wakefulness ever so well spent!

*saves to mems - HUGS you*

[may7fic.livejournal.com]

Oh this was so sadly sweet. And sweetly sad. Poor Dean... scared and wanting nothing more than to make it better for his father.

[charis-kalos.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a lovely and sad wee Dean, so caring and determined. And silly Bobby, he should have known from Dean's descriptions of John's symptoms that there was another explanation - but maybe that's where Dean got "hangover" from and Bobby was just advising him to deal with the potentially fatal cause first.

(See my new icon? Ficwriter made it for me. Isn't it cool!)

[saberivojo.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. God, I love Dean standing up to Dad. "No, sir." That pushes all my buttons. He is not disrespectful or rude, just determined. I love determined Dean. The boy has got a pair huh?

And this is sad and angsty and warm. I just want to snuggle with them all.

[lark_ascends]

*hugs them all*

[just-ruth.livejournal.com]

This is just so sad, so heartbreaking. You've caught all the aching, pain of the broken disfunction that is the Winchester family.

Very well written. Thank you!

[patita-fea.livejournal.com]

I love wee!Dean here, disobeying orders from the master and commander because he thinks he's doing right by his family. What really strikes me is that the kid is too young to recognize a hangover, and yet he feels such an awesome sense of responsibility for his dad. At that age, I'm not sure I caught on that my parents had the flu unless they told me outright. Lawd.

And John's reaction to "You can't go to sleep"? "Whosays?" I might have giggled some.

[quirkies.livejournal.com]

Aaaargh! This is lovely and so damn sad. Poor Dean being SO brave, and then feeling foolish. John is heartbreaking too, but he has his boys. &hearts

[labseraph.livejournal.com]

So evocative ... I could almost see the whole scene playing before my eyes. Bittersweet with just enough dash of angst.

Lovely.

[zazreil.livejournal.com]

Ah poor sweet Dean feel so bad for him trying so hard but just putting his whole foot into it.

ZAz

[ewanspotter.livejournal.com]

If you're hearing that funny noise, don't worry. It's just me, crying in the corner like a little baby. KTHANKS.

Supernatural Fanfiction Awards _ Featured Story

[sensue.livejournal.com]

Hi!

I just wanted to let you know that I've made this story Supernatural Fanfiction Awards Featured Story.

(FYI it's June 2008 Featured Story...'cause I'm a few months behind. Sorry...)