ext_7517 ([identity profile] gwendolyngrace.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] gwendolyngrace 2008-06-30 01:13 am (UTC)

Hoo.

Well.

First, I'm delighted beyond words that you (and others) have responded well to Beverly and her role in the fic. I'm also thrilled that the case *worked* - I was really, really struggling with it for the longest time, and it was the absolute last part to come together. I was very worried that it would come across as lame as I thought it was when I was drafting it all.

Next, as far as John...yeah, that's exactly how I feel a fair and balanced portrayal of John should be. What I hoped to achieve was a sight of his fragility and his desperate need...while not forgiving the unforgivable mistakes he made in the name of a greater good--or more often, simply in the name of his vendetta. I wanted to reflect the mix of wanting to smack him upside the head much of the time along with the desire to give him a hug and offer him peace. (Points up - one commenter says she has no urge to offer John any sort of comfort; I say that's pretty harsh considering all he had to be going on with.)

John is a very difficult character to portray with that sweet spot of balance - many fics either show him as unrelentingly hardassed and pigheaded for no reason or go too far into schmoop (especially for when the boys were really young). But I also don't think his emotional withdrawal and absence from the boys happened all at once - and it didn't happen in a straight trajectory, either. I think of it as tacking into the wind.

So thank you for affirming that I hit that target.

As I said in the A/N, this fic is actually a prequel of sorts to "Trost und Freude," because while writing that, I had to fill in some of the blanks in their past, and I started thinking about Beverly and her relationship with the Winchesters. When I tried to place her in the timeline, and I realized that John's reaction to the shtriga must have been at least as freaked out at Dean's...everything fell into place.

So, yeah - I am metaing, but I agree that John was highly human and very complex and ultimately broken, but still functional, if hard-headed.

Anyway. Thanks SO MUCH for the amazingly kind feedback!

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