Yes, that's just it, I wanted to make it clear (without ever showing the whole thing) that John poured his heart out in that letter--which is exactly why he then couldn't share it with her. But he did keep it, even if he wasn't thinking about what might happen if he couldn't come back to deliver it himself. Oh, John - you are so fucked up, mister!
As for the shtriga fallout, yeah--I realized writing "TuF" that the shtriga thing probably really did serve as a "reality check" for John, and that his reaction after the initial adrenaline rush wore off must have been along the lines of, "Fuck--I've pushed Dean too far, too fast." And when I figured that out...the rest of this fell into place.
I came up with Beverly somewhat in parallel to that process, and I'm thrilled beyond words that (so far) everyone seems to find her realistic and a fitting "companion" for John, even in how they couldn't make it work. Because yeah, that's the thing: the failure is as important here as the attempt. Even if she'd had all the information, the point was that John couldn't move on in any emotional way. It was ultimately going to come down to the vendetta. I was really nervous about her reception, so it's fabulous to hear that she seemed real and well-matched (without being a Mary Sue).
I'm also particularly pleased that the breakdown worked for you--anytime I show John being human, I worry about how it'll be received. So YAY.
Thanks so much for the detailed comments--it's like deep fried crack! :^D
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Yes, that's just it, I wanted to make it clear (without ever showing the whole thing) that John poured his heart out in that letter--which is exactly why he then couldn't share it with her. But he did keep it, even if he wasn't thinking about what might happen if he couldn't come back to deliver it himself. Oh, John - you are so fucked up, mister!
As for the shtriga fallout, yeah--I realized writing "TuF" that the shtriga thing probably really did serve as a "reality check" for John, and that his reaction after the initial adrenaline rush wore off must have been along the lines of, "Fuck--I've pushed Dean too far, too fast." And when I figured that out...the rest of this fell into place.
I came up with Beverly somewhat in parallel to that process, and I'm thrilled beyond words that (so far) everyone seems to find her realistic and a fitting "companion" for John, even in how they couldn't make it work. Because yeah, that's the thing: the failure is as important here as the attempt. Even if she'd had all the information, the point was that John couldn't move on in any emotional way. It was ultimately going to come down to the vendetta. I was really nervous about her reception, so it's fabulous to hear that she seemed real and well-matched (without being a Mary Sue).
I'm also particularly pleased that the breakdown worked for you--anytime I show John being human, I worry about how it'll be received. So YAY.
Thanks so much for the detailed comments--it's like deep fried crack! :^D